Hey gang, I just ran after this animal. Someone tell me what animal is this. Look. It’s weird, I found it. I thought it was a duck. Look at its feet, my god*bird kicks* HEY, CALM IT FUCKER, DON’T PECK ME. My mom has a zoo at her house, I’m gonna take it to her. But look, it’s a weird animal*bird starts pecking his fingers* AAAAAAAAAAAAH IT PECKED ME, SON OF A FUCKING BITCH. *sucks air through teeth*UUUGHH FUCK, HE’S PECKING ME GUYS AAAAAAAAHH, ASSHOLE AAAH. FUCKER, LET ME GO, OH FUCK AAH–
You listen to me, and you listen good. I’m sick and fucking tired of you trying to get in between me and what’s rightfully mine. If you so much as fucking look in my direction again, I’ll gouge your eyes out and force feed them to you. Do you understand me?
me when the cashier at whole foods tells me to stop sampling the grapes
Useless 