thes3nator:

tipofthescepter:

aka-maayan:

thecolossalennui:

prokopetz:

To be totally fair to Willy Wonka, at least a couple of those candy factory casualties involved kids deliberately circumventing reasonable safeguards, sometimes aided and abetted by the parents who were supposed to be supervising them. What happened is at most 60% his fault.

oompa loompa doopity dare

the court finds you breached your duty of care

oompa loompa doopity disk

that’s what the courts call assumption of risk

oompa loompa doopity do

only a partial judgment for you

Oompa loompa doopity doubt,

The rest of the class action lawsuit is hereby…

(SLAM) (SLAM)

THROWNITY OUT!

one-time-i-dreamt:

I was baking a strawberry shortcake for my mom when I realized that I forgot the baking powder. I began to panic so I pulled the cakes out of the oven; they were already completely baked but they rose just fine without the baking powder? I was staring at them in confusion, trying to remember if I accidentally put yeast in the batter, when I felt a shadow loom over me. I looked over my shoulder only to find Luigi. Luigi tenderly took my hands and told me, “You need not worry, for I will accompany you in any and all of your baking endeavors.” I have never felt more loved in my life. I cried.