“I think my book would be a good fit for your house–”
“Sorry, we’re not accepting romances.”
“Romance? This…this is a paranormal horror. There’s not even enough humans to have a romance.”
“I don’t know, the bog monster really presents itself as a love interest.”
“The bog monster. Are you serious?”
“It’s got those big arms and a mysterious air to it. Ladies love that.”
“What? Ladies don’t… No, look, that’s not the intention here. It’s an eldritch abomination in the styling of Lovecraft. I think horror fans will really enjoy it.”
“I understand, but I also think romance fans will really enjoy it, making it a romance. We’re not accepting any romances.”
“But that’s–I didn’t write a romance! It’s not a romance!”
“It’s romance-presenting. We’re going to have to pass.”
“Hey, I can’t find my book on your shelf?”
“oh, yeah, it was a romance.”
“…yes? I know, I marketed my book as a romance and made sure it was immediately distinguishable from your other selections like you asked. I even took the time to keep underage readers away from my book. So why is it gone?”
“We don’t want our audience to read romance period.”
“Since when? You’ve never said anything about the other romance books, even the ones that pretended to be Biographies. I’m actually following your rules!”
“People won’t recommend our bookstore if we have even one romance. We’re throwing them all away, marketed correctly or not.”
“But my book is on your shelf! My readers know my book is on your shelf! How are my readers supposed to find my book if you’re banning it?”
“Not my problem. You shouldn’t have written a romance.”
Useless 